I feel down, and I don’t know why.
It is the typical feeling of hatred toward myself; looks, shyness, personality. I get this feeling every so often, and it is horrible. I try to make myself feel better but it just doesn’t work. I feel disappointed in myself, that I have nothing to be proud of. I feel like I have no special talents, I do not excel in things, I do not have special bonds with anyone, I am just useless. Sitting here crying my eyes out, finally because it is actually well overdue. Going to wake up with a headache now, which will make me incredibly moody and I will probably be snappy to my parents, which will make me feel even more down because I hate being rude, especially to them.
I guess, in a completely selfish way, I just want someone to show me they actually care about me. I don’t care how, but if someone were to just spend time with me without it being a typical thing. Cannot wait to go stay with a friend in London, will be nice to get away from here for a day or two. I want to just get in my car and drive.
Fuck knows what I am saying in this post, I don’t actually understand it. Going to bed now, night.
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